Published on May 28, 2020

7 Signs You’re Emotionally Intelligent

Do you know what exactly is emotional intelligence? How can you know that you are an emotionally intelligent person? What are the signs to see that? The main goal of this article is to show you everything you have always wanted to know about this very fascinating subject. Hello everyone and welcome to In this article, we're going to learn about seven signs you're emotionally intelligent.

Striving for improvement

Leaders, counselors and psychologists have long wondered what's the best way to teach emotional intelligence. Dozens of educational strategies have surfaced in the past. One popular technique focuses on individual weaknesses. It forces people to address their own failures, but instead of increasing emotional intelligence, this technique makes people defensive. Their self-awareness decreases and their perspective becomes even more shallow.

A recent report in the Harvard Business Review revealed a much more effective strategy. To teach emotional intelligence, the key is self exploration. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, experts recommend exploring your hopes and challenging your fears. By striving for self-improvement, you can broaden your perspective, you discover new facets of your personality and most importantly, learn how to empathize with yourself.

So, take just a minute to ask yourself: how well do I know myself? Do I spend time on a regular basis exploring my individuality? These questions can be really difficult to answer. So, here's a helpful trick: if you realize that you have a lot to learn, you already have your answer. The simple fact is, you're much more emotionally intelligent than you think.

The power of a pause

Countless people with high emotional intelligence share one powerful habit. Imagine your friend asks you an emotional question like, what do you think of me? A question like this is loaded with pitfalls. Should you give an honest answer? Should you tell your friend what they want to hear and why are they asking this question in the first place?

Most of the time, people don't think about what they say. When a difficult question comes their way, they answer immediately, but that's like swinging at a baseball with your eyes closed. It's inaccurate, it's unreliable and it's a terrible way to hit a home run. That's why emotionally intelligent people take a moment to process. When they're given a big question, they consider their answer from all angles, they reflect on their own feelings and consider their friends feelings too.

In this brief moment of silence, emotionally intelligent people turn a quick and reckless answer into something honest and thoughtful. This pause is also a sign of emotional control. If you answer without thinking, your emotions have control over you. Those strong feelings push the words out of your mouth before you have a chance to think, but if you pause before you speak, you are in control and that's not all.

This moment of silence shows that you're also empathic. You understand that your words have an emotional impact on the people around you. So, you're careful and considerate with the things you say, not only does this spare you from many embarrassing moments, it also strengthens your relationships. Impulsive emotions rarely reflect your genuine feelings. The-cuff comments can easily damage friendships and relationships.

If you're careful with your words, people value the things you say. In the long run, this forms deeper bonds and mutual respect. So, pay attention the next time someone asks you a challenging question. Do you say the first thing that pops into your head or do you take a second for yourself? If you know the power of a pause, you may be an emotionally intelligent person.

Emotional labeling

Can you identify your own emotions? Emotionally intelligent people have a broad vocabulary for their own feelings. When any emotion washes over them, they can pinpoint that feeling in a way that most people can. Let's say you just won an award. You're standing on stage, staring out at a crowd, clapping just for you. How does that make you feel? Someone with low emotional intelligence might say: they feel good, but an emotionally intelligent person would describe that feeling very differently. They identify pride, relief and maybe a little bit of embarrassment.

If you have high emotional intelligence, you can recognize a detailed spectrum of emotions both positive and negative. In your mind, emotions are far more complicated than just good and bad. Your high emotional intelligence zooms in on the tiny nuances that differentiate anger from frustration or happiness from excitement. That skill set extends beyond your own brain.

When you can label complex emotions in yourself, you can identify the same emotions in others. Often times, as an emotionally intelligent person, you understand people's emotions better than they do. When they're feeling good or bad, you're the one who elaborates for them. You understand what's really happening under the surface. Even if they don't, that right there is the essence of emotional intelligence.

Transformational leadership

Have you ever met someone whose vision inspired you to perform at your best? According to a 2000 study in the Leadership And Organization Development Journal, transformational leaders are some of the most powerful role models in our society. They instigate change. They unites communities. They promote a sense of identity by challenging you to take possession of your accomplishments. Transformational leaders are adaptable, self disciplined and most of all, they're emotionally intelligent.

The goal of any transformational leader is simple. They motivate groups of people by activating their sense of self. Maybe it's a team of co-workers in the office or a crowd of  volunteers showing up for a good cause. Whatever the situation, transformational leaders inspire others to push above and beyond. They connect with individuals on an emotional level and that connection draws attention from other people.

Their followers learn to admire and respect transformational leaders, because their leaders return the favor. They put their faith in their followers by giving them autonomy and responsibility. They understand the strengths and weaknesses of their followers. They encourage them to personally invest in every project, because that investment drives their performance.

All of these skills require an incredible amount of emotional intelligence. To be a transformational leader, you have to connect with people. You have to understand people and you have to value their input. According to the Harvard Business Review, transformational leaders stand at the forefront of modern industry, not only does this interpersonal style increase performance, it also encourages a positive attitude in the workplace, but there are transformational leaders outside the professional world too.

In classrooms and friend groups, even in relationships, transformational leaders use their emotional intelligence to bring the best out of others. So, if you try to inspire people, if you collaborate with others to create change, you're not just a natural leader, you're also emotionally intelligent.

Explaining your critiques

Most people don't know how to give feedback. Their critiques come off as insults or personal attacks, because they rarely consider the impact their opinions have on others. As an emotionally intelligent person, you're a constructive critic. You recognize the failures of others, but you address those failures in uplifting and meaningful ways.

So, when you supply feedback to a co-worker, friend or partner, your goal is never to kick them when they're down. Instead, you use critiques to motivate and encourage others, but what separates an insult from constructive feedback?

While tone, phrasing and timing all play a role, the biggest difference is detail. You explain your opinions. If a co-worker is being lazy, you don't attack their work ethic. You explain why you think their productivity is suffering. Emotionally intelligent people turn every critique into a meaningful conversation. You don't tell people their flaws, you help them improve.

Careful commitments

How often do you break your promises? Do you make commitments to people without thinking? People with low emotional intelligence stretch themselves too thin. They're scared to say no, so they make commitments to everyone, but in the end, they find themselves backed into a corner. These broken promises caused permanent damage to your friendships and relationships. That's why, as an emotionally intelligent person, you're careful with your commitments.

If a friend asks you for a favor, you don't say yes right away. You ask them for some time to think. You step away and give yourself some perspective. Once you know for sure you can keep that promise, only then do you make a firm commitment to someone.

In the long run, this careful routine builds an incredible amount of trust between friends and partners. Saying no is uncomfortable in the moment, but it's the most considerate option in the long run. Breaking promises is never the right answer. So, if you're careful with your commitments, if you're not afraid to say no, then you have high emotional intelligence.

Deciphering strangers

Do you have an eye for honest and genuine people? Emotional intelligence makes you a shrewd judge of character. In just a few minutes, you can decipher almost anyone. You pick up on small vocal clues. You recognize little changes in body language. You understand subtext better than anyone. With high emotional intelligence, you can read any stranger like a book.

Just imagine you're interviewing a new hire at your company. Interviews often bring out the worst in people. Interviewees will fabricate a fake personality just to get on the interviewers good side, but emotionally intelligent people can see right through this facade, because emotionally intelligent people pay attention to the little things. You can identify a wide array of specific feelings, which helps you recognize nuanced emotions in other people. You can always tell when an emotion is genuine and when it isn't. So, if you've got a good eye for people, you may have more emotional intelligence than most.

Thank you for reading this article and be sure to consult our website to stay informed about our coming articles, because more incredible content is on the way.

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