We are all confronted to this famous situation: first impression. It goes far beyond what you wear. A good or bad first impression can sometimes depend on a single comment, instantly transforming a great conversation into a complete disaster. Hello everyone and welcome to thebestmind.net. In this article, we're going to learn about eight mistakes that ruin first impressions.
A good or bad first impression can sometimes depend on a single comment, instantly transforming a great conversation into a complete disaster. Imagine you are at a party with a new group of people. They start making jokes and laugh about a movie you really like, but you hear them get a wrong actor name. So, since you know the actor's real name, you intervene and correct their error. Finally, you realize that you accidentally turn to a fun positive interaction into an embarrassing moment.
For most people, it's not easy to ignore even the most insignificant mistakes. For example, if someone says funner instead of more fun, it's tempting to correct their grammar, but even this tiny amendment can make you seem stiff and serious.
When people are socializing, they want to be calm and comfortable, which won't happen if they're worried about messing up every time they open their mouth. This prevents them from setting their anxieties aside or opening up when you're around. Instead, you should let people know that it's okay to mess up around you.
People are often very aware of their mistakes and don't need you to make them feel any worse about making them. So, one of the best things you can do is carry on like everything was correct, which keeps the atmosphere positive and fun for everyone implicated.
When you meet someone for the very first time, the conversation often starts with the same tired ritual. You say something like:
- hi, I'm Justin.
- He responds : I'm Patrick, nice to meet you.
- You habitually respond : nice to meet you too.
Now, for most people, it feels like the conversation really starts after you've gotten that out of the way. However, those formalities give you one very important piece of information, which can completely change how well the conversation goes.
So, as a little test, try to remember the name of the other person in this example. Chances are, many of you completely spaced out, which means you may be doing the same thing in real-world scenarios. I can tell you from personal experience that remembering names definitely does not come natural to everyone. However by remembering and repeating someone's name, you become significantly more memorable, because the other person will take the time to remember your name too.
Incorporating person's name also has a few added benefits, like showing the other person how invested you are in the conversation. So, let the other person know that you're giving them your complete attention.
Imagine you just sat down at a coffee shop about to enjoy your favorite drink and listen to a podcast on your phone, when a man at the table next to you strikes up a conversation. You've been trying to meet new people, so you give the guy a chance, but he won't stop talking about how busy and chaotic his life is. He goes on and on about how he's got a demanding job and how he's been forced to lead a team of designers for his company. Almost immediately, you find yourself looking for a way to stop the conversation. By talking about his busy job, he was doing something called: a humble brag.
Humble bragging is when you seem to be sincere and modest, but are actually just gloating about how action-packed and important your life is. Now, most of the time, people will humble brag when they want to impress you or when you over, because they think humble brags make them seem confident and cool.
The truth is, more often than not humble bragging leaves their new acquaintance with a bad taste in their mouth. Even with the best intentions, these comments almost always fail, because they seem like an attempt to prove how superior you are, which consequently makes the other person feel inferior.
It's important to remember that the best first impressions leave both parties feeling secure about the other person and themselves.
No eye contact
Eye contact has its place in just about every social interaction. So, it's no surprise that it plays an important role in making good first impressions. When meeting new people, our nerves tend to go into overdrive. We overthink and get embarrassed way more than we would with close friends, which can have a huge effect on our body language.
Eye contact is usually one of the first things to fall by the wayside. When we feel intimidated or insecure, it can be incredibly uncomfortable to maintain eye contact with another person. However, by staring at the floor, the ceiling or just about anywhere else, you're making sure they know exactly how uncomfortable you are.
So, when you're uncomfortable, they are uncomfortable. Even if you're feeling nervous, use eye contact to let the other person know that you're present attentive and you want to continue interacting with them.
Imagine you've got a job interview you've been chasing for years. This is your final chance to convince the hiring committee before they choose someone to fill the position. So, you really needed to go well. Throughout the interview, you look for some indication that you're doing well, but the interviewers just stare blankly at you the whole time.
When interacting with new people, we often use their facial expressions to judge how well the interactions going. If they're smiling, we think it's going well. If their brow is furrowed, you probably did something to make them angry, but nothing is worse than a blank expression. Blank expression tells the other person one of two things: you're either bored or you don't care. Both of which leave your acquaintance feeling rejected and insecure.
So, whether you're talking to a potential employer or just some random person you met at the store, use your facial expressions to tell them how you think the interactions going.
Think about a handshake like an investment. If you put just a little bit of money into something, you probably aren't that confident that it's going to do well in the future. So, you're fine with just losing a small sum, but if you invest every dollar that you have, you're showing how much faith and confidence you have and whatever you're investing in.
Handshakes work the same way. When shaking someone's hand, you can't throw out a limp wrist or a two fingered handshake and expect the other person to feel confident about interacting with you. A weak handshake tells the other person that you don't care enough to firmly shake their hand, which means they won't bother investing the time and effort to get to know you.
Lacking a sense of humor
Humor is a relaible way to make sure you leave a good first impression, because it makes the other person feel more comfortable and shows them that you two have something in common.
People often say that their favorite thing about a close friend is that they share a sense of humor. Maybe they make each other laugh or just enjoy the same kinds of jokes, but the point is that people who have similar senses of humor can have a good time together.
So, if you don’t have any sense of humor or you act too seriously most of the time, people won't see you like someone they'll enjoy spending their best time with. To avoid this situation, show them your sense of humor right off the bat. Now of course, you shouldn't go overboard and start telling crew jokes, because then you might end up insulting them or scaring them away.
Invading their space
You might be accidentally ruining your first impressions by sitting or standing too close. If you first meet someone in a formal setting like a hiring man or a new boss, you want to be in the social zone, which means you should give a minimum of three to four feet of space. If you're meeting someone at any other informal setting, you can get a bit closer, but always try to leave about two feet of space to make sure you aren't invading their personal bubble.
By encroaching on their space, you're making other people feel uncomfortable and anxious around you, because they don't know you well enough to feel safe when you're sitting or standing so close. Even if you're just trying to be friendly invading personal space can come off as aggressive, irritating and inappropriate.
So, be sure to give people their space. It might just land you a job, a friend and even a relationship.
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